RECOMMENDED BRIEF RESOURCES:
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WE WISH IT WASN'T TRUE ... BUT HERE'S THE WORST OF IT IN A NUTSHELL:
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Best Resources for Families
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Key Ideas for Change in UK
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1. A quick glimpse of the complexity (diagrams from Child Alienation paper, click here). Multiple systemic factors. A continuum of children’s relationships with separated parents with PA at one end.
3. Genders may be reversed or different (eg LGBT couples). Relationships are fraught. Hurt upset or scared Mum wants to distance and protect herself and the kids from contact with an angry upset maybe abusive or risky Dad while the child has mixed feelings in the middle, resists contact maybe, and often just wants her parents to stop arguing. Although the Dad may throw in “PAS” this is not PA. It gives PA its bad name. PA is typically more like this >>
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2. Parents both love their child and each collaborates with the other for her sake. Their child has a relationship with both and knows they love her. Contact works fine. See Relationships Scotland's leaflet
4. Again genders may be reversed or different. Relationships are polarised into aligned and rejected. Mum is a woman with a very negative inner self esteem hidden inside an overpoweringly controlling strong outer difficult personality. This may be the only solution she knows to hold onto attachments. In the literature, she gets called Narcissistic or worse. Actively or intentionally she programmes her child to side with her to resist contact with a caring safe and previously loved Dad. The child can only resolve the split by devoting herself to her Mum’s needs and develop the denigration of her Dad. The child’s voice gets amplified by the unintended help of the family court process into a powerful choice.
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The video was produced by Parents and Abducted Children Together (PACT). This is the anecdotal equivalent of Amy Baker's book (see below). The main point here is to validate that alienation can happen and that children suffer long-lasting effects. The strength of PACT and this video is that it is entirely child focused. It is not systemic. It does not tell us the parents' stories and wider reasons. It does not help us know why this happens or how to stop it. But it happens!
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